What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Do snipers lay on top of tank turrets during combat?

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

What was your worst experience while living with roommates?

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

What is the best way to keep my vagina clean and fresh?

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

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“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

What are the coolest new smart home gadgets to upgrade your living space?

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

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Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Is the Trump-Zelenskyy meeting a preview of what the US is going to do to Taiwan?

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Make Nazis afraid again!

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

My wife always forces me to suck my bulls dick and balls and even Lick his cum from her face and tits and they even humiliate me very badly plus she always talks about big Dicks everywhere everytime and show me pics of huge cocks what should I do ?

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

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After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Is it true that all men want a woman who looks like an Instagram “model”?

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

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Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.